Love's Resolution

A meditation for January 2004

Every family, every congregation, every denomination, indeed, every community of faith experiences conflict. It seems to be just human nature to contend for one’s views, while challenging those who disagree.

The issues may be relatively minor. In a family it may be as simple as who does the chores or as complicated as which friends are welcome and what is acceptable behavior. In a church the issue may be as simple as which hymns get sung or as complicated as who gets ordained and whose sins are forgivable.

When the issues are drawn and conflict is present we search for wisdom and, if we are wise, we seek mediation. Reconciliation is not easy when positions are defended with both logic and passion. Any reasonable person will agree with me, says the one who is convinced of having the truth. All the while, others are pleading for sensitivity to diverging viewpoints. It is the old conflict between head and heart. I believe love offers a solution. Love offers reconciliation.

Love resolves to love not only the truth but to love the one who contends for it as an adversary. We find our unity in the undeserved grace of God.

The New Year gives each of us an opportunity to offer a resolution. Resolve to love!

Love’s Resolution

Beyond all our conflict lies a more excellent way.

If I speak to my adversary with reason and dialogue with logic and use high-flown language to win over friends and influence enemies, but log-on without love, I am a noisy advocate and a singer off key.

And if I acknowledge the potential for mediation and understand the mystery of reconciliation and know intuitively its possibility;

And if my faith in this process is monumental, but I display no love, it all comes to naught.

If I yield for the sake of argument while pursuing my personal point of view with passion, but contend without love, I gain no high ground.

Love in debating the issues shows patience and is kind in each response; it speaks without arrogance nor does it issue ultimatums.

Love in voicing its convictions does not insist on being right; is not irritated by irrelevant data nor resentful of common ground found; it takes no pleasure in an opponent’s weakness, but affirms every truth revealed.

Love in caring for the truth bears the burden of half-truths, believes in the incredulous, hopes for early resolution, endures all confrontations.

Love between divergent viewpoints never ends. As for visions of holiness and perfection, they will dim; as for definitive statements, they will be found inadequate; as for ethical certainty, it will escape us.

When I set out to find reconciliation I had easy answers to the hard questions; I figured I could match wits and trade in unexamined assumptions; I held on to pieces of the puzzle for dear life.
But when the meaning of being whole and mature, of showing grace dawned, I gave up immature ways.

For now we get only glimpses of the peace made between us, but soon God’s face will shine upon us and be gracious to us. Now I know some of the answers, but soon I will know as fully as I have been known and loved.

So abide faith in the common search for the common good; hope in mediation’s promise; and love for each other in the diversity of our gifts. In these three we see great possibilities, but the greatest is to have love for each other.

Make love your resolution!

(Permission is given to reproduce, with source acknowledged.)
From Love’s Letters: A Poetic Book of Confessions by George Gunn
(Library Lane Press / Copyright 2001)